Unexpectedly

Right, please just ignore my previous posts and ramblings.

Also, do not continue reading if you dislike mushy stuff HAHA

It's not office politics, it's just the result of disappointment by yours truly. But I've gained so much more even though I was emotionally wrecked these past few days. I have chosen a path, after considering the words of everyone, especially those who are close to me.

The call to my bestie after work lasted one hour, but she really helped me a lot, talking about different warped opinions, different ways of looking at things. She even put off all her chores to be done just to listen to me yesterday and today! *hugs*

And the call to mommy also helped me so much. I almost cried on train when the first thing she asked me after telling her everything was, "Tell me, after putting everything aside, what is it that you really want?" =) such a simple sentence, and yet such a huge impact. thank you my dearest mommy! thank you for telling me so much and thank you for always respecting whatever decision I make, past or present.

I called daddy also, telling him if its possible can he come home for a little while whenever he's free because I wanna talk to him. but i was shocked when I reached home he's already there waiting for me, asking what's wrong. haha, he never fails to talk off the tangent but he told me so much about his experiences, both funny and scary =P

I think if it wasn't for this incident I won't cherish the people around me as much as I do now.

Thank you, mel and joey, and sorry for affecting your moods. It's all human nature and ultimately I can only blame myself for not dealing with it properly. =) friends, yah?

Now I know why I was hurt. Because I care for my work and the people who's in it. I want to make things work but i'm powerless to do so. I started this internship with my determination to do my best in it, and it means alot to me. Having second thoughts suck, but I do try to stick with first thoughts. haha

Seriously, sometimes I think its time to write everything down in actual journals instead of online diaries because I hate to automatically practise self-censorship to everything lol!

yeah, read between the lines if you must, but never assume yah? =D want the truth, just ask me! heh