buzz

wow its been three days since i posted anything. surprise surprise!

meanwhile, look at the breakdown of my daily schedule and you'll understand.

24 hours a day

13 hours working
2 hours of journey time
8 hours of precious sleep
1/2 an hour to bathe

and i'm left with 1/2 an hour to blog! wahahaha XD

seriously, that is what i do almost everyday =( but then, i need the money to go US!!! =D yay! siew and i are planning a trip to US in may and staying at her aunt's house in NYC. yipppeeee big apple, here i come! XD i'm so excited!!!!

today was more hectic than usual in the restaurant because of a media event. i saw reporters, editors, producers blah blah blah. rather intimidating at first but it became fun after awhile. its nice chatting with editors who are funny and friendly. =P what a nice experience! =)

sigh

was in quite a bad mood these few days cos the managers are fighting among themselves and they are declaring "war" with each other. which really pissed me off cos CAN'T EVERYONE LIVE IN HARMONY????!!!!!!! they fight over really small matters and PLEASE stop being so childish! they all are over 30 years old and they are acting like three-year-old kids! seriously i'm just so tired of seeing them biting each other's heads off that i shouted that them to shut up and stop being so kiasu and stubborn! for heaven's sake, can't they compromise and step back? why drag all the servers into this mess? why make us take sides? why are there so many backstabbing????? why why why why why. they are actually nice people but when they show their ugly side, its hideous i tell you. its such a turnoff man. i find myself getting really angry at people nowadays and i really really wished for a simpler life. huiwen says i always tend to place too much feelings in all the things i do and that's why i do all the stuff to make sure everyone's happy and well because I CARE about the restaurant, I CARE about the people in it. people may say that, well, just quit and ignore them! but i didn't. I don't wish to walk out of a mess without helping to clear it up.

but sometimes i'm really tired. no matter how much the managers say they love me and i'm one of their treasured employees, i'm really tired.
i'm tired of doing so many things like i'm one of the managers and caring so much about the restaurant when its none of my business at all. i even wonder do they say that to cheer me up and its just one of their facades and the next second they'll turn away and say i suck?
i'm tired of them pretending to be nice when they actually dislike you like what they do to one of my friends.
i'm tired of being the one who really smile when i'm happy and cry when i'm sad.
i'm tired of being in the war and trying hard to solve things out.
i'm tired of my managers being sad that they can't do anything to make me happy because they have to fight this war.
i'm tired of being in the real world because i know sooner or later i'll become like one of those people who cares only about money and PRIDE and not important stuff like care, concern, FORGIVENESS and love.
i'm just so freaking tired.

but i'm still caring. i'm still wishing that things will be better soon. i'm still trying my best to sort things out and hopefully no one gets hurt in this stupid internal war.

on a lighter note...

today some florist sent a flower stand to us and instead of "congratulations!" on the signboard, it appears as "condolences". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i was really laughing my head off when my manager looks totally bluffed and even asked me to check the online dictionary to see whether is there another meaning to "condolences". heeheeeheee

in the end the florist people came and apologized and even gave a huge basket of fruits, a new (and bigger) flower stand and also a water fountain thingy with green sand and nice seashells. =P wow. i guess they go all out to correct their mistake. =/ man. i pity them. hahaha.

it's singapore fashion festival and i'm stuck at workkkk!!! its the annual travel fair and i'm ALSO stuck at work!!!!! someone save me =/



all that aside, i was wondering that do people really know what they want deep down in their hearts? is it at times when you know in your gut that some choices or decisions have to be made plainly because you yourself are the ones deciding everything?

few days ago i had thought my best friend is going out with a chef in our restaurant because of frequent meetings and stuff. though i didn't talk to him for even a second, i knew he went out with my friend several times. at that time i had wondered did she really think that they would last because he stopped school at sec 3 and is a smoker and drinker and she is going to university soon with fab results. or all of these doesn't matter actually? soon i had a talk with her and she said no matter how much she wishes to be with him as he is really a nice person, she knew things just wouldn't work out in the end. in terms of practicality, she would rather go for a long term and meaningful relationships and not something that is only valid for a few months. oh well. anyway i guess its part and parcel of life. hope she settles it soon! hahaa


work as if you don't need the money,
love as if you have never been hurt,
dance as if nobody's watching,
sing as if no one can hear you,
live, as if Earth is a heaven.


oh no. i have only like six hours to sleep. crap. =x





wishing to be able to forget everything but it seems impossible. maybe you really matter too much to me.
its the heart that truly matters...