ice cold numbness

before i say anything, please check out the 'child' section or my profile section under this blog. if you see the counter numbers displaying 1000, congrats!!! you are my 1000th reader! hahaa. oh well, the 1000th time at least. =P

now moving on to more deep and philosophical stuff.

recently i kept having bad dreams. not those nightmares kind of thing, but just dreams that i'm always surrounded by people i love, friends and family, at first, but somehow i always ended up walking alone in the end. walking in the night, aimlessly, lifelessly. its the coldness of it all that gets into me. really don't know how to get rid of it.

perhaps you would say its a reflection of what i really felt in real life. not exactly... i know i have family who loves me more than anything and i have true friends who really cared. maybe i'm still a bit doubtful about my work place but i'm trying to adapt and hopefully be comfortable among my colleges... i'm satisfied, in a way...

but why do those dreams kept appearing? why do i feel more alone than anything else? i hated, hated the feeling in those dreams, the feeling of trying to block out the cold by wrapping your jacket tighter, the feeling of if i disappear from the surface of the earth no one will notice.

and there is fear. the fear of not knowing what happens next, the fear of not knowing which paths to choose...

help me...


in truths there are lies
in perfections there are flaws
in knowledge there are uncertainties
in fear there will be courage
in everyone's love i'll find happiness.


be strong, girl

be strong...


smile!!!

=)

i'll try to combat the dreams. people come into my dreams and leave happy memories okay. ^^


right. i'll stop thinking about all these for now. enough of sadness for the day..

went shopping with huiwen today!!! hohoho. its our day off so we hopped down to queensway as the first stop!

went to see a doctor before that and got more medicine... seems like recently doctors like to give out mouthwash. duh. -.- anyway i hope i'll heal soon because the sick thing is really getting into me. =P

ooohhh you know what i found out about queensway? its DAMN hard to find a shop selling women's jeans!!!!! i'm dead serious. argh. searched the entire first and second floor and both of us are getting exasperated with all the "sorry miss, we only sell men's jeans here." what the hell!!!! =X its a man's shopping paradise mannn. i swear there's only ONE shop that sells female jeans. such a sexist place! urghhhh. so guys, go queensway and shop your heart out! hahahaa. there are lots of nice shirts around...

thank goodnes we both found jeans that we like in that only female jeans shop so we went off as happy paying customers! =D heyyy its dirt cheap! only 30bucks! nice patterns too! wheee

saw some irresistably cute spongebob squarepants slippers!!!! HAHAHA. they are really sweet cos they literally are shaped like a square and only comes in children sizes which makes it even cuter! heeheeheehee

after that we went to a shop named beadstreet and ohh-ed and ahh-ed over their funky necklaces and earrings! =) huiwen bought a black-and-silver belt and a bracelet whereas i bought a cute funky necklace with colourful round ball things hanging all over. =D cute! was debating between two other necklaces at first but i fell in love at first sight (literally) after seeing that necklace so i went and ignored the two others! hahaa. will post pics soon!

went to parco bugis junction after that and zoomed to their nike shop to find a t-shirt but turns out that the men shirts are wayyy nicer than the women ones so i bought nothing eventually. =( you guys are sure lucky... all the fantastic shirts! argh.

hopped over to orchard after that and was squeezing every inch i walked. gosh, i thought christmas eve was bad, but after christmas sales made the crowds worse. =/ resisted the temptation to go into forever21 because the number of people queuing for the dressing rooms is horrendous. blehh

for once in a long long long long time i relaxed in my house's rocking leather chair and read a super great book! =D indulgence~ spent the next three hours of my life oblivious to the surroundings and just drown myself in the world of words and the author did a good job in making me imagine each scene that is being played out. =)

speaking of which, i was walking around in kinokuniya recently and found out that there are many new books out! example, a continuation by nicholas sparks on one of his older books. i always enjoyed his way of expressing emotions in words and very touching ones too. =)

whoa. guess i wrote enough to make anyone fall asleep by now. =P gotta take my dose of medicine before i go to zzz land now. =)

cheers!