all over again

by right i should be happy

had a fun time with victoria in gym, had dinner with the band gang since a long long time ago, giggling away with yanling in the lib while siew slept on her pile of notes.. i even made a pact with victoria to go hong kong and stay in her house someday after 'a's.

but now...

i don't even feel like watching my show anymore

you know the girl in the show always say even if there is no hope, don't give up, things will change and you will be given hope. but now i feel entirely hopeless.








i know things would be like this. i know no amount of tears will be worth it. i know things change, people move on. but i feel as if i'm watching a still picture. everyone passes by me but i'm always standing there.

if only i were a better person, if only i am more sensitive, if only i cared more, if only....... jing you are such a fool! didn't you promise yourself you would be a happy person and be contented with what you have? didn't you swear never to cry over this again? didn't you say you won't think about it till two months later? but no! one look at something and your heart breaks. stupid! it hurts you know... its hurts so damn freaking much. time doesn't heal. for now nothing will..

its raining again...

i thought i did but i didn't. i didn't let go... i didn't stop caring. i wish i did, but i didn't.

i'm lost...